


home (or something close enough)

by hurtzyx



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, a short drabble, i really should have been studying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 17:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurtzyx/pseuds/hurtzyx
Summary: yixing is always tired and jongdae always seems to know what to do.





	home (or something close enough)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cry (unbeat)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbeat/gifts).



> this was what was in the draft i started ages ago, the one i told you about, but i managed to turn it around from the hatefic it was SUPPOSED to be to this sappy mess...anyway this started for you and even though it wasn't what it was supposed to be it's still for you so Enjoy my shitty procrastination love you

yixing never thought he’d have the time for…attraction, yes that’s what he’ll call it. his life for the past few years has consisted of an endless cycle of work, practice, more practice, and sometimes sleep, it never occurred to him that he may be missing something, not necessarily something vital to his existence, but something important enough to be noticed. he rarely ever has time to enjoy himself, so much so that his friends might as well be strangers to him and he can never forget how unsettling it is for them to know that even with the already infinitesimal amount of sleep he gets he sometimes forgoes sleep altogether to be with them. he doesn’t mind it much anymore, of course his appearance usually showcases his exhaustion, but his body has become so used to it by now. sometimes the exhaustion that he know he _should_ be feeling leaks out of him like an overflowing sink and he finds it in him to allow his body to rest as it should be, or at least some form of rest. he knows his appearance doesn’t hep with his persistence that, _yes_ he is okay, _yes_ the amount of sleep and rest he gets in all is not enough, but it’s not something revolutionary, if his body hasn’t adjusted after years of this, then he would not have gotten as far as he has now. his already sleepy, droopy eyes seem to scream tiredness even when he’s well rested, so when bruises and hollows bloom underneath his eyes he makes sure to not see anyone until they’ve receded somewhat. his movement, usually languid and fluid, become lifeless and limp until he pushes himself into the strength and precision he’s been taught. it all seems more dramatic than it actually is. yixing is okay, he’s always been okay.

 

jongdae has always been amongst those who love to dote on yixing. he seems to have a sensor for when his day has been particularly gruesome and taxing on yixing, always seems to be waiting on yixing to get home in the late, late hours of the night with heat packs and whatever necessities yixing lacks in the untouched space he calls home. it’s not home really, just comfortable enough for him to spend a few hours in, going over choreographies or new music he’s been working on and of course the occasional sleep he manages to fit into his hectic schedule. today is one of those days.

 

he’s not really sure when he became so dependent on these spontaneous, but always appreciated, visits from jongdae, but sometimes the thought of not seeing jongdae after a strenuous day of work, practice, more work, and even more practice makes yixing’s heart drop to his stomach. jongdae has made his stoney, cold apartment seem like a warm _home._ it’s been too long since he thought of someplace as his home, especially in a foreign country with no familial support to fall back on. the way jongdae makes him feel is not special, it is not magical nor does it defy any human norms. the way jongdae makes him feel is stable, and in his world of constant instability, this taste of stability makes him want to grasp onto the other man and never let him leave his life. yixing knows his feelings may complicate any future friendship with jongdae, so he keeps his secret crush to himself, folds it into the most minuscule of pieces and tucks it somewhere safe in his heart. it doesn’t hurt to be so close to the person he likes who is also completely oblivious to his feelings, being around him doesn’t necessitate being _with_ him, though it would be nice to.

 

“hey…thought you could use another batch…” jongdae throws his kindness towards yixing as if it is the easiest thing to do, it’s hard not to admire him. for a moment yixing stays silent and observes jongdae’s soft, soft gaze and he manages a smile. it’s an exhausted thing, his smile, but it’s real, and that’s all that matters, even through the weariness and stress, the least he can do with jongdae is be genuine.

 

“you always seem to know when i need it most,” yixing reaches into his pocket for his key, “i ought to do something big for you, to show you how much it means,” he looks up to meet jongdae’s warm gaze, “because it does, mean so much…you have no clue.”

 

“seeing you rest a little is enough payment for me. besides, i do this on my own freewill, there’s nothing holding me to it, so if you don’t mind…it’s very late in the night let’s go in.” of course, how can yixing deny jongdae a thing? he opens the door to his apartment, and steps in behind jongdae. he may never be able to thank jongdae, may never be able to express his gratitude towards the other man, but maybe jongdae understood, maybe that’s why he kept coming back, he knows how much this little visit means to yixing. that thought alone is enough to keep yixing warm and jittery for days on end.


End file.
